im alive

definitely my shortest yeah boy ever goes to me....for literally not posting on here at all. what the hell has happened to me in the span of a few months??? i dont necessarily have a following on here, but like, this is supposed to be outlet for letting things out, ranting, blah blah. you'd think being a single, 19 year old girl in college would have a lot to bitch about...

I bought a beret 

aaaaannnnnyyyywwwwayyyysss, a lot has actually happened since the last time i posted. donald trump was elected president (thats another rant for a different day, just wait on it), i finished my 3rd semester of college, annnddd, i still work at a movie theater. yeah nothing that exciting has happened to me. actually, 2016 has kind of sucked in all honesty. i mean, there were some cool parts that i'd like to highlight when i get the chance, but other than that i feel like i've been so alone this year???

i live with my parents, and my friends all live on their own just 10 minutes away. which sounds convenient, but not when im literally scheduled the entire weekend, every weekend, and unable to see them at all. i went from seeing them every day to, like, never. i mean, they work, i work, and our class schedules are different of course, but it's just such a downer when im stuck at a movie theater for 8 hours while my friends are out having a good time. but this job also pays well and gives me hours so maybe i should shut up???? blhefbjkg. i've just spent a lot of time on my own this year. which is nice because i enjoy the solitude but i do also like to go out and explore and have fun with people i like.

school was also such a drag bc i decided that 8ams were a good idea, which, honestly werent awful...i was typically done with class by like 11 and i had the entire day to do more homework,,,, or just be a lazy bum. but also, "sophomores" really just get the short end of the stick. picking classes for spring was a BITCH bc the registration date was so late, and also sooooooo close to finals which means more stress for us??? i had to remake my schedule a good 4 times before i registered which is so annoying dude!!!!

2016, in general, was just a real pile of shit for the whole world. i hope that 2017 can show us that the grass is greener on the other side. i dont know why i thought nevershoutnever lyrics were appropriate just now but the damage is already done.

maybe my ass will try to post more as well and get my creative juices flowin!!!! because i also havent even crafted in like months????? ive been such a millennial, with my phone literally glued to my hand. i also have let my anxiety get the best of me at certain times and it made me hate myself for little bit bc anxiety sucks and is annoying and sometimes i dont know how to deal with it. but i also act like my own good friends dont deal with it as well, and wouldnt understand??? honestly im such a buffoon sometimes,,,,,

this post didnt really have any sense of direction, i just wanted to post because it's winter break and i've already watched too many episodes of glee to function anymore. im signing off. it's 9:02pm and im TIRED.

sour candy- bleached

i am back!!!! by popular demand (probably my dad). ive been so soooo bad about posting, but i feel like i say that after every hiatus i have??? i need to get my creatives juices flowing and stop being such a lazy bum. all i do is go to class, do homework, and sleep too much. thats college for ya!!! haha! *anxious laughter*

i finally got my film developed for my disposable i used from like june until now??? i hadnt used one since i moved from japan to california, which was in 2005, so i was only like 8 years old. wow. anyways, the majority of them came out better than i had expected!!! there are a few fails, but i think thats bound to happen anyways. looking back on these made me feel so warm and fuzzy and happy bc the majority of them are with my closest friends! here's what i was able to capture these past couple of months:

A 19 YEAR OLD PLUM AT LAST

(this post is quite overdue, but better late than never!!!)

so this past month i turned 19 years. man, such an ugly age, because i'm still a teen, but not yet an adult. i mean technically i became one when i turnd 18, but i feel like it isn't real until i hit my 20s. annnnyyyywwaaaays, i feel intrigued to write something that is inspired by a video i saw awhile ago. Alyx, or AyyDubbs on youtube made a video about "19 things i learned at 19" or something along the lines of that. 

i thought i would take the time to reflect on my years of living, since i'm obviously so much more wise and mature now. (hueh) obviously, it should be 18 things i learned at 18, since i've only been 19 for 10 days, but i wanted to add an extra "life lesson" because i felt like it, and because i didn't want an even number.

obviously, i have many more years to come, many more mistakes to make, and even more opportunities to learn from them. in fact, 5 years from now, what i learn in the future could be totally opposite of what i think i know now (does that even make sense??) anyways, here's what i've compiled for this post today. maybe you agree with them? or maybe you think differently? if you want, go ahead and tell me some important things that you have learned, i would love to know!!!! share your thoughts!!! 

*~ now commencing, 18 THINGS I LEARNED AT 18+ 1 EXTRA ~*

*~~~ she is a dancing queen, young and free, only NINETEEEEENNNN ~~~*

a tired and uninspired chick + road trip

weeeellllllll, i thought that since i had an entire summer break, i would at least try to blog more. obviously that didn't go over as planned :// all that i've done for these past couple of months is work, work, sleep, eat, work, sleep and work. my goal was to try and aim for more creative ways of spending my free time, like blogging for example, or maybe reading a book (which i haven't done for fun in so long), go outside and explore my city on my own, etc, etc. anything but sit on my butt and binge watch tv shows. (too bad thats exactly what i've been doing.)

but don't worry, i have actually been able to do some fun stuff, like visit my friends in SoCal for a weekend!!!! it was my first, no parental supervision road-trip, and it was honestly the highlight of my summer. :)))))

 ( me and my croissant @Amoeba Music in Hollywood)

(a really accurate depiction of the noodleheadz themselves)

 (TEAM PEAX!!!!!! no really this was my favorite show by far)

(also some1 please return this stealing is not nice)

 (MAH BOIIIIZZZZZ!!!!!!)

 (a very cute and noice photo of us before much sweat and bruises)

(a sunset @ Huntington Beach)

 (a house literally straight out of a Pottery Barn catalog)

(on the way home, drive north hueheuehheuehrubw)

 #GRRLGANG 

ahhh, that weekend was filled with eating so much good food, blasting music and roasting the heck out of each other. it's what we're good at, i guess. it was really great to be with my pals again, but being in an unfamiliar place was even cooler!!! i've only ever been to Knotts and Disneyland, so it was cool to see where they live and what not. SoCal is not the place for me, however, the sun was out and shining and i was really missing the fog and cold. 

this trip only made me more excited for everyone to be back in SF (gross because school will start again) but at least they won't be 6 hours away and i can finally be with my weirdos again. see you guys very soon!!!!!!!! 

END OF AN ERA

if my friends and their blog posts weren't sappy enough, here i am, coming at y'all with a super lame and heartfelt post about my freshman year of college coming to an end.

well...yay!!! for finally being done with all of my finals, tests, speeches, and blah blah. college is definitely no joke and it surely kicked my ass, but I'm proud of myself for not giving up and managing some good grades for my first year!!! but, i'm not going to sit and ramble on about the essays and endless amounts of lecture notes that consumed my life these past few months. i'd actually like to talk a lil' about this wonderful group of people i've met and consider some of my best friends. if you're an OG follower and remember my tumblr version of this blog, i did a little ramble about how college changed me and how i feel much more comfortable in SF and blah blah; this is kind of where I'm going back to..i was soooo scared that i wasn't going to find any friends in college. it was a new setting, a new school, and a brand new challenge to take on. my childhood friends were all over the state, while some 2 hours away, back in vacaville. this first night in the dorms, i cried because i missed my parents already and my anxiety made me think i was going to be a huge loner and have this awful experience.

within like, a month, things quickly turned around. somehow, i managed to find this kick-ass group of gals. we are all so different, yet similar, in like 100 ways.

(not all of us are pictured, but it's still one of my faves)

they have introduced me to so many cool things!!!! there was so much that i did with them that i don't think i would have ever done if i were still at home in vacaville. i got my septum pierced,  i've gone to live shows and moshed my butt off, started thrifting way more, i started blogging again, and sooooo much more. not only that, but these gals have shown me a great deal of life lessons that i will keep in my mind for as long as i can. the amount of self confidence right now is all thanks to having such a supportive and wonderful group of people surrounding me. also, whenever I'm with them i know I'm going to be crying because they make me laugh SOOO hard, and usually over nothing!!!! (we all just think were that funny)

it's going to be so weird not waiting until 5pm to have dinner at shitty eats with them, plan little outings on the weekends, and spend every other waking moment in between with them. i mean shit, look at all of the fun we have together:

ahhhh, looking back on all of these photos makes me so happy!!! because these humans make me so happy!!!! i could go on and on about how each of these individuals have shown me something super special and how unique and amazing they are but i would be here for a couple of days. yeah, we butt heads on stuff and probably get annoyed of each other 90% of the time, but at the end of the day, i don't think i could have found a better group of friends. here's to more memories, more laughs, more tears, and more adventures to come. 'till the gang is together again (in june LMAO), peace out, goodnight. I LOVE U CHICAS!!!!!! 

xoxo, mal plum

BAD DAY?

man, you know when you have one of those days/weeks/weekends where life is literally taking a huge dump on you? it sucks. so bad. i mean, my life is still fine, but crappy things just kept happening to me this past weekend. is this karma? i know i forgot to floss that one day, but why punish me this bad?

first, i kept messing up at my new job. nothing major, it's just that new person stigma, where you're still learning how things work, so you kind of have to suck before you get better?? anyone? yeah. i mean, my coworkers are SUPER nice and SUPER helpful, but i still get that gut feeling where i think i'm being this huge nuisance. blah, guilt. blah, anxiety.

secondly, the ball of septum ring fell out. this is the second time for this to happen too!!!!! anyone with a septum piercing probably knows how annoying this is. especially because the ball itself is so damn tiny and is impossible to track down. and you can't just buy 1 separate ball for the jewelry, you have to buy the whole damn thing again.

AND finally. not gonna get too into detail, but someone compromised my debit card and drained my account. how annoying :(((( i mean, thank god i wasn't ballin' or anything, but still, it sucks!!!! like please, go find your own money!!!!

i know i was just in fell complaint-mode, but now im going to turn it over to the brighter side of things. instead of being a bum and moping around about my crappy weekend, im going to remember that i have a new day ahead of me where i can make the most of it. start over, and just relax.

here are some things i like to do when im having a shit day/week/weekend!!!

-listen to a playlist of happy songs!!! (here's a little compilation of my favorite "happy" songs that make me feel good and fuzzy.)



- try to bake/cook something!!! food is always an easy way out, but i don't mean to just hit up mcdonald's and stuff your face. find a recipe that will occupy your mind! even if you're not a pro, it's still fun to experience it.

- surround with those that put a smile on your face!! whether that be your family, friends, or partner!!

- make up some drawings, or start a collage. something like journaling can be really soothing and calm me down!!

- WRITE IT OUT!!! this is probably one of my favorite ways to rid myself of the bad day. whatever it might of been that caused a bad day, i find it's really healthy to just physically write it all out, almost like you're ranting to someone. (you can actually talk to someone about it, but sometimes i just need to complain rather than get some feedback from another person, ya know?)

ADULTHOOD

for the past month or so, i've had this topic in the back of my mind. right off the bat, i wanted to rant about it, but usually, when i do that in the heat of the moment, i can't exactly put into words what point i want to get across. and sometimes i come off as judgmental and mean. i've really put thought into how i want to word this, just so that people understand what i mean and also know that im not belittling you if you relate.

oh my god mal, spit it out already!!!! 

oh, right. it's nothing serious, i just wanted to dabble a bit into the world of adulthood. or more specifically, being 18 years old and living independently. for some reason, there's this huge pressure on 18 year olds to immediately move out of their homes and start their life right away. while these circumstances are more suitable for others, some do not tend to jump into this as fast. 

there are some people my age who already own an apartment, have a job or two, and are completely supporting their lifestyle on their own. then, there are people, like myself, who are still receiving help from their parents. now let's get this straight, EITHER lifestyle is totally okay. however you decide to run things is completely up to you, and you should totally be proud of yourself no matter what!!! there is no "right" way to live, so seriously, don't think i'm trying to discredit ya!!!

if you still live with your parents, right now, or until next year, it's okay!!!! you're not a loser. there really shouldn't be such a rush in figuring things out after high school. i feel like there's this huge stigma on still living with your parents and what not. like, oh you're still at home? what a loser. you're so lazy. grow up. blah, blah. 

if you're on the other end of the spectrum, you're goddamn awesome!!! i pay so much respect to you if you're supporting yourself on your own, that really shows a lot of motivation and maturity!! BUUUTTTT, here's where i'm kind of annoyed. i really dislike the people that come off as arrogant and cocky if theyre the ones living on their own. this is based off of my own observations from twitter, instagram, and actual people i've spoken to. it really gives such a bad impression of their attitude when they go about such a way that makes me feel like they're superior to me. 

they like, give off this weird vibe. when they talk about it, it's like it always has to come into the conversation. like HEY, I HAVE __ JOB(S) AND I PAY FOR ALL OF MY THINGS. DID YOU KNOW? HEY. LISTEN TO ME. I'M SOOOO INDEPENDENT. and i get it, for you to work your ass off, it makes sense that you would like to speak about your accomplishments. but it comes to a point when you give off a bad attitude, like everyone is below you. nobody is above anyone. we realllllly need to calm it down with this kind pressure on young people.

why is it that we always need to pin people against one another? oh, you go to community college? PFT. oh, you work at McDonalds? PFFFT. oh, you still live at home and your 18??? PFFFFFFFT. how about we encourage people? tell them, hey that's cool! a job is a job, a school is a school, and to each their own, ya know? LET PEOPLE LIVE.

THOUGHTS AND THINGS

for the longest time, i've had this problem where i can't keep hold of my filter on what i say/do. sometimes i can control it, but other times it slips and i end up messing something up. maybe my sarcasm crosses a line, or i joke around too much to the point where someone is actually hurt... (and this, to me, is really funny. i'm a cancer. i'm EMOTIONAL. and SENSITIVE. and DEFENSIVE. i'm basically a big baby but i don't like to admit it because i swear i'm a bad-ass.)

and you know, for the record, I AM NEVER INTENDING TO BE AN ACTUAL JERK!!!! there is literally 0% malicious intent within me, i'm all jokes and what not. but, i have to remind myself that not everyone is going to know what i'm thinking or get the meaning behind what i'm saying. i could joke with my friend, and mean it in a totally harmless way, but how are they supposed to know that?? like, of course they're gonna take it a certain way if i don't actually tell them "just kidding!!"

i think i built up such an attitude of not giving a shit about everyone (and their opinions) that i kind of almost convinced myself that everyone else has done it too. not to say the people i know are weaklings or something, but, you know what i mean..it's just that, some people do take things to heart. they do get their feelings hurt easily (and thats ok!! feelings are ok!!!!!) AND I NEED TO REMEMBER THIS!!!

but then, the other part of me is saying, "HEY. if people can't handle the way you are then they can fuck right off!!!" *Bad Reputation by Joan Jett blasts in the background* and yeah, sometimes, people aren't worth your time if they don't like the way you carry yourself. like hey, i'm happy with ME and I'm very important to ME so if you don't like ME then go find someone that has your ideal expectations and leave ME alone!!!!!!

i guess what i'm trying to say is that this self-reflection has me at a crossroads. i like that i'm blunt and sarcastic, but, since im a cancer, i hate the feeling of making the ones i love/care about upset with me. like, fuck everyone else, but friends? family? NOPE. the anxiety and guilt will eat me alive. you cannot momentarily dislike me. no. stop now. (no, being a cancer isn't my excuse for anything, but horoscope crap is frighteningly accurate)

here's what i've concluded: be nice. take the time to consider the feelings of the people that are important to you. BUT, stand your ground. be a bad-ass. stay true to yourself. the key is to find balance!!!! i can be an overemotional wreck that almost cries in overwhelming situations AND still be as bad-ass and cool as i think i am. bitch.

:-)

(Rupaul's Drag Race has consumed my life. my bad)

TUNGS BY THE FRIGHTS IS A GREAT SONG

haven't had much inspiration write up a whole post...so here are some wonderful photos from a day spent at Dolores Park with my pals. picture credits to jessaMEAN :-)

SUMMER IS FOREVER

hieeeeeeeee!!!!!

last night, 3 of my gal pals and i went to the WAVVES/Best Coast/Cherry Glazerr show at the Fillmore. it. was. so. FUN.

(this was right after WAVVES had finished, and we had finally found our way back to each other because the crowd was so crazy) 

first off, Cherry Glazerr opened up the show. i have only ever heard a few songs from them but man are they good live!!! the lead singer, clementine, was too adorable!!! she's this tiny little gal that looks  like someone i would see around campus, but man she really wails on the guitar. their performance was a great way to get everyone pumped for the night.

UP NEXT: WAVVES are so damn good live. the lead singer Nathan Williams sounds just like he does on the actual album. every song sounded so beautiful and i loved screaming every lyric out without a care in the world. the mosh pit was probably more intense than The Orwells, however. at that show, i was off to the side more where i had a little more room but at this show i was almost in the center, up by the front, and i was definitely squished for the majority of their set. (but in a good way). also, for most of the show, i was standing next to a man in a denim jacket, and although we never exchanged words, i can honestly say we're pals now. my favorite song, Green Eyes, was SOOOOO GOOD LIVE. it was their final song, and i honestly almost teared up from just hearing it. (i apologize to whoever had me screaming directly into their ear, my bad)

 and finallllyyyyyy, Best Coast!!!! bethany sounded so perfect!!! although her music is not as energetic as WAVVES, it was really nice to just take a breather, chill out, and sing along. she looked amazing, the band sounded amazing, and i felt so fuzzy and happy to hear some of my favorite songs in person.

the night was really great!!! and i must say, The Fillmore is a really awesome venue. it was my first time, and apparently theres a lot of history to the place??? the security dudes were nice, and we didnt have to wait for the doors to open for too long, and we got in pretty quickly. if you ever wanna see a show there, go for it!!!!

also, you should totally give a listen to these bands if you haven't already. they're pretty great. have a wonderful day everyone :-)