ADULTHOOD

for the past month or so, i've had this topic in the back of my mind. right off the bat, i wanted to rant about it, but usually, when i do that in the heat of the moment, i can't exactly put into words what point i want to get across. and sometimes i come off as judgmental and mean. i've really put thought into how i want to word this, just so that people understand what i mean and also know that im not belittling you if you relate.

oh my god mal, spit it out already!!!! 

oh, right. it's nothing serious, i just wanted to dabble a bit into the world of adulthood. or more specifically, being 18 years old and living independently. for some reason, there's this huge pressure on 18 year olds to immediately move out of their homes and start their life right away. while these circumstances are more suitable for others, some do not tend to jump into this as fast. 

there are some people my age who already own an apartment, have a job or two, and are completely supporting their lifestyle on their own. then, there are people, like myself, who are still receiving help from their parents. now let's get this straight, EITHER lifestyle is totally okay. however you decide to run things is completely up to you, and you should totally be proud of yourself no matter what!!! there is no "right" way to live, so seriously, don't think i'm trying to discredit ya!!!

if you still live with your parents, right now, or until next year, it's okay!!!! you're not a loser. there really shouldn't be such a rush in figuring things out after high school. i feel like there's this huge stigma on still living with your parents and what not. like, oh you're still at home? what a loser. you're so lazy. grow up. blah, blah. 

if you're on the other end of the spectrum, you're goddamn awesome!!! i pay so much respect to you if you're supporting yourself on your own, that really shows a lot of motivation and maturity!! BUUUTTTT, here's where i'm kind of annoyed. i really dislike the people that come off as arrogant and cocky if theyre the ones living on their own. this is based off of my own observations from twitter, instagram, and actual people i've spoken to. it really gives such a bad impression of their attitude when they go about such a way that makes me feel like they're superior to me. 

they like, give off this weird vibe. when they talk about it, it's like it always has to come into the conversation. like HEY, I HAVE __ JOB(S) AND I PAY FOR ALL OF MY THINGS. DID YOU KNOW? HEY. LISTEN TO ME. I'M SOOOO INDEPENDENT. and i get it, for you to work your ass off, it makes sense that you would like to speak about your accomplishments. but it comes to a point when you give off a bad attitude, like everyone is below you. nobody is above anyone. we realllllly need to calm it down with this kind pressure on young people.

why is it that we always need to pin people against one another? oh, you go to community college? PFT. oh, you work at McDonalds? PFFFT. oh, you still live at home and your 18??? PFFFFFFFT. how about we encourage people? tell them, hey that's cool! a job is a job, a school is a school, and to each their own, ya know? LET PEOPLE LIVE.

THOUGHTS AND THINGS

for the longest time, i've had this problem where i can't keep hold of my filter on what i say/do. sometimes i can control it, but other times it slips and i end up messing something up. maybe my sarcasm crosses a line, or i joke around too much to the point where someone is actually hurt... (and this, to me, is really funny. i'm a cancer. i'm EMOTIONAL. and SENSITIVE. and DEFENSIVE. i'm basically a big baby but i don't like to admit it because i swear i'm a bad-ass.)

and you know, for the record, I AM NEVER INTENDING TO BE AN ACTUAL JERK!!!! there is literally 0% malicious intent within me, i'm all jokes and what not. but, i have to remind myself that not everyone is going to know what i'm thinking or get the meaning behind what i'm saying. i could joke with my friend, and mean it in a totally harmless way, but how are they supposed to know that?? like, of course they're gonna take it a certain way if i don't actually tell them "just kidding!!"

i think i built up such an attitude of not giving a shit about everyone (and their opinions) that i kind of almost convinced myself that everyone else has done it too. not to say the people i know are weaklings or something, but, you know what i mean..it's just that, some people do take things to heart. they do get their feelings hurt easily (and thats ok!! feelings are ok!!!!!) AND I NEED TO REMEMBER THIS!!!

but then, the other part of me is saying, "HEY. if people can't handle the way you are then they can fuck right off!!!" *Bad Reputation by Joan Jett blasts in the background* and yeah, sometimes, people aren't worth your time if they don't like the way you carry yourself. like hey, i'm happy with ME and I'm very important to ME so if you don't like ME then go find someone that has your ideal expectations and leave ME alone!!!!!!

i guess what i'm trying to say is that this self-reflection has me at a crossroads. i like that i'm blunt and sarcastic, but, since im a cancer, i hate the feeling of making the ones i love/care about upset with me. like, fuck everyone else, but friends? family? NOPE. the anxiety and guilt will eat me alive. you cannot momentarily dislike me. no. stop now. (no, being a cancer isn't my excuse for anything, but horoscope crap is frighteningly accurate)

here's what i've concluded: be nice. take the time to consider the feelings of the people that are important to you. BUT, stand your ground. be a bad-ass. stay true to yourself. the key is to find balance!!!! i can be an overemotional wreck that almost cries in overwhelming situations AND still be as bad-ass and cool as i think i am. bitch.

:-)

(Rupaul's Drag Race has consumed my life. my bad)

TUNGS BY THE FRIGHTS IS A GREAT SONG

haven't had much inspiration write up a whole post...so here are some wonderful photos from a day spent at Dolores Park with my pals. picture credits to jessaMEAN :-)

SUMMER IS FOREVER

hieeeeeeeee!!!!!

last night, 3 of my gal pals and i went to the WAVVES/Best Coast/Cherry Glazerr show at the Fillmore. it. was. so. FUN.

(this was right after WAVVES had finished, and we had finally found our way back to each other because the crowd was so crazy) 

first off, Cherry Glazerr opened up the show. i have only ever heard a few songs from them but man are they good live!!! the lead singer, clementine, was too adorable!!! she's this tiny little gal that looks  like someone i would see around campus, but man she really wails on the guitar. their performance was a great way to get everyone pumped for the night.

UP NEXT: WAVVES are so damn good live. the lead singer Nathan Williams sounds just like he does on the actual album. every song sounded so beautiful and i loved screaming every lyric out without a care in the world. the mosh pit was probably more intense than The Orwells, however. at that show, i was off to the side more where i had a little more room but at this show i was almost in the center, up by the front, and i was definitely squished for the majority of their set. (but in a good way). also, for most of the show, i was standing next to a man in a denim jacket, and although we never exchanged words, i can honestly say we're pals now. my favorite song, Green Eyes, was SOOOOO GOOD LIVE. it was their final song, and i honestly almost teared up from just hearing it. (i apologize to whoever had me screaming directly into their ear, my bad)

 and finallllyyyyyy, Best Coast!!!! bethany sounded so perfect!!! although her music is not as energetic as WAVVES, it was really nice to just take a breather, chill out, and sing along. she looked amazing, the band sounded amazing, and i felt so fuzzy and happy to hear some of my favorite songs in person.

the night was really great!!! and i must say, The Fillmore is a really awesome venue. it was my first time, and apparently theres a lot of history to the place??? the security dudes were nice, and we didnt have to wait for the doors to open for too long, and we got in pretty quickly. if you ever wanna see a show there, go for it!!!!

also, you should totally give a listen to these bands if you haven't already. they're pretty great. have a wonderful day everyone :-)

CALIFORNIA NIGHTS

i've had an exceptionally busy weekend!!! the SF fam and i went on another adventure together, and this time we checked out the Sutra Baths near Lands End. the weather was beautifuuulllll and we all had so much fun. let the pictures ensue...

my outfit from the day: cardigan (goodwill) top (F21) jeans (savers) sunglasses (F21) shoes (converse) belt (buffalo exchange)

as you can see, i went crazy on the photoshoot. aren't my friends the cutest????
also, later that night, my best friend Heather came to to stay the night and it was so wonderful to spend some time with her. as for today, i spent the night watching the Oscars with my dad, and snacked on way too much candy. Leonardo DiCaprio won his Oscar and i felt like a proud wife.

thats all for today, goodnight everybody :))))))))))

POWER TO THE PEOPLE

"In 1968 and 1969 the Black Student Union, Third World Liberation Front, select staff and faculty, and members from the larger Bay Area community, organized and lead a series of actions against systematic discrimination. Protestors spoke out against lack of access, misrepresentation, and the overall negelect of indigenous peoples and people of color within the university's curriculum and programs. Their specific demands included the establishment of four departments - , American Indian Studies, Asian American Studies, Black Studies, and La Raza Studies within a College of Ethnic Studies. These demands reflected a respect for the diverse intellectual traditions and cultural expressions of scholars, activists, and artists of color and indigenous people throughout the United States." - taken directly from the SFSU website

if you weren't already aware, there has been a recent outrage amongst students and faculty, do to the talk of possible budget cuts from our College of Ethnic Studies. about 40% will be cut from operating budgets, and a lot of teachers could possibly lose their jobs as well. if you'd like more details, check out these news articles:

http://www.sfexaminer.com/sfsus-college-ethnic-studies-faces-possible-cuts/
http://ww2.kqed.org/news/2016/02/24/s-f-states-historic-ethnic-studies-college-may-have-to-cut-courses-faculty

i'm very lucky to be attending a school that is so progressive and diverse in its programs and academics. in fact, SFSU was the very first campus to establish such a department that offers courses that are rich in the experiences of American Indians, Asian Americans, Black and Latina/Latinos. we offer classes such as Asian American Studies, Africana Studies, Latina/Latino Studies, American Indian Studies, and Race and Resistance Studies- with over 175 courses to meet the needs of our crowded population. the curriculum itself is unique and gives people the voice that can be heard from miles away. i myself, am taking an Intro to Africana Studies and would be devastated to see my professor, and others, as well, lose their job. especially when ethnic provides such wonderful resources and opportunities for people of color. 

it's so wonderful to have witnessed so much passion amongst my campus. i couldn't believe how many people i could see striking throughout the campus, and the many that attended the rally to defend Ethnic Studies. this type of behavior truly gives me hope for the future and the kind of environment i'm living in.

don't be silent. speak out! protest! take action! do whatever you can to help!
power to the people

FEBRUARY FAVES

hello there!!!!! if you're confused as to why you can't see my older posts, is because i had to create a brand new blog. for some odd reason, my old blog was being super uncooperative and there was literally no solution to fixing it, so i just decided to start fresh.

i've been meaning to make individual posts of whats been going on this past month, but unfortunately, i've just been busy! my classes are pretty demanding with the world load, and i've been trying to form a new schedule where i can get my work done and still have some free time.

february has been a pretty great month!!! i finally came back from a super long winter break and got to reunite with my SF family once again. (i had a really great time being with my family and VV friends over break tho)

this was our first official weekend back, so we headed over to Amoeba on Haight (our favorite place) and shopped around for a few hours.

this was at Rasputin but we prefer Amoeba....

we've been thrifting quite a bit already, tried new restaurants, and it's only been a month!my favorite part of the month has, without a doubt, been GALENTINES!!!! it was my first time ever participating in it and i can honestly say it was too fun!!! (shout out to my pal josselyn for organizing the entire thang) our theme was decades, so we picked a time period and did our best to mock the fashion trends of that era! everyone all came out looking SOOO cute and i couldn't help but capture a few pictures.

 for my decade i was 60s!!! at first i thought it would've been hard but then i remembered mod 60's and twiggy and felt much better about it because that was soon cute!!

we had so much fun!!! we had a 5 star fancy shmancy lasagna dinner (go MIAAA) and some more fancy trader joe's sparkling beverages. we then made some super cute DIY pom pom earrings and buttons!!! after that, we had a normal dance party that consisted of a lot of Beyonce.

annnddddd just last week, my friends and i decided to have a spontaneous trip to the beach!!! it wasn't much of a trip though, as it's an easy 20 minute walk, give or take. the weather was AMAZING for SF, it was high 70s and sunny. not too hot, but not cold, just right!!! also, my math class was cancelled for the night, so it all fell into place. it was sooooo nice to just chill out on the sand for a couple of hours. i of course brought my camera to capture the wonderful adventure.

and thats thaaaattt!!!! hopefully i'll back into a better schedule for blogging. enjoy the rest of your week everybody!!!! xoxoxoxo.